Introduction

Have you ever experienced a betrayal so bad you felt it was unforgivable? Saying to yourself I will never let that person or anyone else in again? Or how about giving the one that hurt you chance after chance only to receive the same treatment? Trust me when I say I feel your pain, and I know that you deserve better than the pain or anger you may be holding on to.

Letting go of anger can be difficult, and sometimes it feels easier to hold on to resentment rather than forgive. It becomes almost automatic to declare, “I’m done,” and vow never to look back while holding on to the bag of feelings (wrong bag to hold on to💰).  We rarely discuss the process that happens in between—the waiting for an apology stage, the resentment stage, the fed up stage that leads to the disconnect.

Stewing in rage over something that happened days ago (or longer) that still feels fresh. Through personal experience, I’ve learned that there are many ways to move forward, but few choose to take the roadless traveled, to forgive. Most opt for resentment, or choosing to treat the offense as minimal and hope it doesn’t happen again. Both options can have lasting damage effects to self Internal and externally. Nelson Mandela once said “resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.”

If someone hurts you, they are simply removed from your life. I understand as there are times when we must part ways from what hurts us or what no longer matches our energy. Especially when others are emotionally toxic, belittling or abusive. You deserve better, allow me to introduce a way to move on that feels liberating and light. Yes, let’s remove the unnecessary baggage, shall we?

Discovering A Healthier Way To Let Go

I’m grateful to be able to share a healthier way of moving on through forgiveness. This choice will allow you to heal, to grow, to love, and to live as the person you’ve always wanted to be, free. I genuinely believe that forgiveness brings more freedom and peace than holding on to anger ever could. Understanding that the forgiveness you give is for you not the other party helps to solidify this belief.

Forgiveness benefits your energy, peace of mind and soul. Freeing up space from feelings of hate, rage, hurt, and resentment. Instead, you are able to love yourself and understand that you may not be able to control others but you can control your choices and actions, by allowing yourself time to process, heal and let go. Inner peace is restored the moment forgiveness is chosen.

The Challenge and Reward of Forgiveness

To practice forgiveness in the beginning can be difficult and uncomfortable ( if it’s new to you). But don’t give up, you can do it, and you deserve it. Many of us were taught by those closest to us to respond to disrespect, and betrayal with a “fight fire with fire” mentality, or by praying about it and hope the offender learns their lesson and miraculously apologies, choosing to be the bigger person. Both teachings make for a painful lesson in life. You learn that fighting back with the same offense only makes life harder on you. While the pray and hope they will change method is nice, but that doesn’t help you by waiting on the sidelines and hoping for the best. Forgiveness requires more work than just ignoring the offense hoping for the best or walking away. Forgiveness requires strength, awareness, accountability on your part ( if there is one) time, patience with self and practice to change it. Sounds like a lot and in the beginning it will feel the same, I wont sugar coat it. keep in mind this feeling is brief, as nothing compares to the feeling of truly moving on without even realizing it. You will simply wake up one day and your chest wont feel so heavy, the haunting thoughts will no longer be present and you will feel lighter freer, with a smile that will out shine a diamond.

Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting

It’s important to understand that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or allowing hurt and disrespect to continue or return. Absolutely not! Forgiveness means loving yourself enough not to internalize someone else’s negativity or allow it to control or change your thoughts and actions. It means refusing to allow hate to dominate your behavior. So, if you are frowning every time you see the person that caused you harm, replaying the offense in your head, I want you to take a moment, pause, breathe and remember to give no energy into that past. You are choosing you and in doing so choosing to be free and not bond to the past.

Healing and Rebuilding

Just as a physical cut or break requires time and care to heal, our spirit and energy need the same attention. Replace pain with peace daily making this your new exercise, nurturing self through self-love. Take time to rebuild, and reassure, strengthening yourself—and remember, even silence in peace is better than reliving painful moments through thoughts or words. Surround yourself with positive encouragement. Speak to your pain with love and confidence, assuring yourself that all is well and there is no need to relive the past. Ensure safety, speak to your pain with affirmations, taking the place of any lingering thoughts that may be present. Guide the pain to safety, and the energy will follow.

Affirmation   😌             

I am letting go of hurt, pain, guilt, jealousy, fear, hatred, anger, and self pity. I replace you with strength, courage, creativity, belief in self, wisdom, growth, love, and confidence. I forgive past offenses against my name, likeness and other. My forgiveness is for me, my peace of mind and wellbeing, as I choose to walk forward in selflove. I am choosing a life healthy, healed, whole and with boundaries.✨

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and engage. If you like this post I invite you to take a look at my related post The Importance of Boundaries In a Healthy Relationship! I look forward to hearing from you and in the meantime and between time may you remain well, mind, body and spirit! Love and light my dear friend 💕